Family: How helpful Are your Uncles and Aunts Towards your Future?

Have your Uncles and Aunts Been part of your Journey?

Each time we spoke on the phone, he complained about one of his uncles and Aunts. None of them does anything meaningful to him despite the fact that they live in affluence. Some live in Dubai while one is a lawyer at UK.

"My Aunt, live in Lagos and own a company. My father was the one that paid her school fees till university level. Now that my father is no longer rich as he used to be, she doesn't want to help me. Even my uncles. Each time you call them, story story"

I often felt intimidated while he complained because those uncle and Aunt at least call him always to know how he is coping with studies. The only issue was that they rarely give him money the way his father used to do.

"But she sent you 5k via my account last week. What about your uncle? That one sent..."

"Ben, that's not enough. Understand nah... I will buy textbooks, buy clothes and other things and she is sending me just that amount. If they don't have the money, I wouldn't bother. The worst is that they would go and tell my father not to bother. My father can give me all the money I want but these people are just being wicked"

I truly lost words when he lay down his points. He is never a reckless guy; he doesn't lavish money. Sending such token to someone that buy textbooks in a state university is just suffering the Student because it's meaningless. Yet I would always wish to be in his shoes so that I will leave business and concentrate. My help is limited to my parent and a few mentors, I can't come and be waiting for someone.

But the truth remains the fact that he receive money from all uncles and Aunts, even the mother.

Whenever he told me this, I would begin to think about my own uncles and Aunts.


Basket has lost it's buttocks. Often I jumped into my big bed in laughter. Often I asked "Ben, did you recall that the last time you received a gift from your first uncle was in 2004? How many years now? Hahahaha. That uncle sef, nawaoooo, not even a phone call or at least Facebook message. Okay oh"

I would think and think and think and began to envy my friend. Truly, my uncles and Aunts had no one that trained them. At least they might have reasons for not showing concern. They all suffered and made their points in life. My most loved Aunt self sponsored herself from secondary to high Institution. She recently graduated from LASUTECH. She is a very big motivation to me. Even though we don't talk on phone every day as my friend wished her aunts to be doing, I feel good that she call once in a while. After all, she is that only one out of six that has my number. God bless, Aunty Chinenye. Amen.

 They trained themselves and so, they don't owe me a dime. I don't get angry when they don't send me money. In fact the last time I asked any of my uncle for money was last two years and I didn't get anything. So I stopped asking to avoid developing sour feelings. I began to learn what made them which is sheer Hard-work. The only person I freely cry to when I have no other option is the youngest of all my Aunts and she doesn't waste time is assisting with the little she have. A very nice lady who always want the best for me. When I was in secondary school, she used to purchase books for me. When those books cannot get to Anambra from Lagos, she would send me money to buy them. She always called me and advised me on many things. I respect her more than all the uncles and Aunts that I have not just because of the money but for the priceless encouragement and time. It matters much to me.

Then also, I have an uncle that doesn't have money. I truly understand that he is going through a lot in his life. Often Satan battle for his life, yet he never stopped calling me. At least once in six months he call to check on me. Often, he sent me Law magazines, Diary and calendars. He would want me to be a lawyer. Smiles.

My life policy is that if you call me shoe, I will call you a bigger shoe. But if you call me nothing, for sure you're not even existing in this planet.

I'm still a student and I have no money now. Whenever I went to village, it's pertinent for me to strive and buy two loaves of bread. Visiting him with it doesn't mean I have money or that he can't afford it. It's a way of saying "Brother, just hang on, this is just an evidence that when the table turns around to be nice, the sun will shine on those who Stand before it shine on those who kneel under them"

Another uncle is at the receiving end of my little gragra. What I do is always in the heart. I always passed through the house of an uncle that doesn't know my baptismal name talk more of having my number. Twice I regretfully called  him and he was asked "onye ka ibu". Who are you?

"Why are you visiting Alex alone. It's bad you will come to this village and go without paying me a visit?'.  I would apologise as say 'it skipped my mind'.

And truly, it will keep skipping my mind till he change. Amen.

Last year I was bitter and gave him a better reply.

"My most beloved uncle. So you don't know that it's culture that when an in-law returns from abroad, you visit to know how your sister and her kids are surviving over there. Odikwa terrible oh"

Thar day, he never said any other thing. I said it in a peaceful and playful way, yet deep in meaning.

I knew I need money, yet I value Uncles and Aunts that text or call. It makes me happy when I see that I have family members pushing me to keep going.

My upbringing doesn't teach me that my uncles owe me any responsibility. When we were small, we used to complain to Mum about our uncles and Aunts. She always defended everyone of them, from the both sides. She would always try to table for us that they're the best in the world even when they do not know our full names. Even when I asked some critical questions that could breed hatred, my mother would say:

"Olisa, remember your father didn't train any of these people you're pointing at. And don't compare Nonye with others because two of you love each other. Everybody would never be the same. I'm your mother. Thanks to God that I'm equal to the task. God will help us and we shall train all our kids. I didn't offend my God, so don't look outside. I'll train everyone of you"

Truly, I don't disturb my uncles. I often call them when I feel like and I learnt to take responsibility. I learnt to hustle and make myself proud. I do my things, my own way. Truly I strongly believe that our uncles and Aunts should be part of our journey, yet there is a sense in which we can all agree that they have their own families. Nigeria economy is not friendly but don't allow it to demarcate you from your family. You don't know tomorrow.

If you're an uncle, even when you don't have money to give, give advice. I have just told you how much I Value one of my uncles and one of my Aunts. I can calculate how much money I've receiven from them without a calculator yet I can't estimate their Innumerable supports. My uncle gave me the seedlings that I planted on my farm. If I sell what it germinated by the ending of 2019, I may raise my school fees from it. What about my Aunt, a business planner. BIGGIES COLLECTION is a motivation I gained from her. You see, money is not everything. Don't be a cold block.

If I become an uncle tomorrow, I won't be like some of my uncles. God forbid. (Truly none of them is diabolic, because we have no family wars in both extended family.) I would go beyond sending them money. I would be sending Airtime with messages, even if it's once in a month.

I would love to end with chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's note.

"Hold your family close. Family doesn't necessarily mean those to whom you are related by blood or social institution....Stand for your loved ones. Tell the people you love that you love them. Tell them often. Find reasons to laugh."

Family matters. Hold everyone tight. Be a good Aunts, Be a good uncle. You have role to play in the lives of your sisters' and Brothers' children. Extended family is stronger if there is peace and peace doesn't fall from Heaven. It start from the way we show love to our Nephews and Nieces. If the love is there, they would transfer it to the next generation and so shall It continue until we have a lovely nation. Thanks.

So long an article. Congratulations, you just finished a one thousand, Six hundred and eight words article. (1608 words)

In this long race Dear, I shall be counting on you for we all know that success is Sacrosanct.

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