Something Breaks The Man In Us.
Credit: Joshua Miels
When I was younger, like Ten years ago, my father always urged me not to cry when something happened to me. On a day that I gave in to sickness and was taken to a local medicine house to be healed of Ntutu.
(Ntutu is a spiritual pin perceived evil men send into someone's body. While it rusted, the person heads close to the grave). The humble medicine man made use of method that is uncommon and unfathomed; he used teeth in removing the spiritual pin. He would murmur and apply some cream on the skin of his patients and used teeth to bit the hell out of the persons. Mostly, women cried more than men that day. The lady before me cried uncontrollably, and I was forced to look pity on her. My father, a handsome young man, drew me closer in-between his thighs and placed his mouth to my ears. The man in me nearly left me because I thought he was about to do prerequisite bitting. Actually he wasn't; my father wished me to blend into another character I have never been.
My father, a handsome young man, drew me closer in-between his thighs and placed his mouth to my ears. Ebkwana akwa here, son...Don't cry, olisa. It's for girls not boys. You're a man."
My turn came, and I was able to bear the pain not because I could but because I do not want to disgrace the man in Me; the 'strong and unbreakable man' our world envisioned, the exact man my father wished me to act. I was hailed and asked to console the Aunt which I did.
You're a man." for they grew up to be heartless and pitiless. They grew up to think that being a man entails being (sometimes) unnecessarily tough. We raise our boys to see emotion as girls thing. While it's a taboo for a boy to cry, it's normal of girls.
Often I sneak out of the public and retire to my room to flash back on things that could break the 'man' in me. We humans are fragile and vulnerable to somethings. Vulnerability isn't sin; it's a common thing that doesn't need to be hidden to strengthen the 'Man in Us'. We pretend to be that strong man because it's expected of us, but something actually breaks the 'man' in us. Deep words do that easily. When you meet such situations, I recommend my style for you. Please do what you consider right, from your deepest heart, from that tiny voice that tells nothing but the truth.
I retire to my room and cry as much as I could. Crying doesn't mean you are weak; it's never a sign of weakness. I have seen a friend who loved the mother so much and lost her to the cold hands of death. On the day of her burial, tears and sorrows were written all over him but he wanted to maintain the man in him. I encouraged him to release the emotion, and he did and became better.
When you lost someone or something worth mourning, retire into a private arena and give way for emotion to flow. But please don't disturb the public with it. You can do that when it's not a nuisance to the public anyway.
We are all susceptible to vulnerability.
In this long race Dear, I shall be counting on you for we all know that success is sacrosanct.
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