Federal Ministry Of Stomach Infrastructure

 

Have you ever had a power Game with anyone in secondary school, especially a senior? I had a silent one with a House Captain when I was minister for state in the Federal Ministry Of Stomach Infrastructure.

 I assume everyone who lived in boarding house understands how significant and undeniably vital the Refectory is.

Back in my secondary school, I was Disciplinarian, and most importantly, a Refectorian (Refectory prefect).

We decided then how Students eat and what they won't eat. In other words, we were very powerful Ministers of stomach infrastructure, and in the words of Harlod lasswel, we decided who get What, When and How. Only a political juggernaut understands how Vital this theory is in game of power.

In the Federal Ministry Of Stomach Infrastructure, with headquarters at the refectory and branches at School Kitchen and Stores, you dare not pick at any of our workers. In my school, they were one of the best in their classes in terms of brilliant, neatness and outstanding big man life. They are respected and even worshipped; they are Friends to everyone and received free favours because nothing is actually free in Freetown. Junior ones troupe to them to be adopted as school son, parents apply to have them as their 'school student guide'. I had many sons then. The power of that ministry transcends class matter. An SS 1 Student working in the ministry had influence over some school prefects. Automatically, he became a school prefect when Appointed by the Chief refectorian.

The gods of favour lunched me into such secret cult of influence and prestige in Jss 2 second term, and I grew and maintained my position even till graduation. I knew I merited such position as I tried my best to be academically sound, strong and neat. Ife m na ede na akwa then eeeeh. I suppose open laundry oh. 

In my SS 1, I had show off with a House and it wasn't an fight since none of us declared war on each other. Only observant ones knew since I kept much secrete then. The issue started when he said I always ironed my clothes and acted the big boy for him. To him, I wielded power and influence even over my classmates. Yet, I saw myself as a leader who lived his life and was loved by all. I had a partner in crime then, a Buddy who also worked in the refectory. To him, such amounts to a small boy of SS 1 rubbing shoulders with a house Captain. He needed to put such to an end and started his attack by doing what he thought could dwarf my  "influence." I never saw myself as someone with influence; I was merely seeing myself as someone doing a duty attached to the ministry I work in. In previous Hostels I had lived, House Captains respected my office or me at least. I could read novels regardlessly on my bed when others are on mandatory semester, I don't do morning chores and was at free to participate in compulsory morning devotion. When some mad and cane fleak seniors began to dance late in the night on innocent Students, I was always excused by the fact that 'he works in a high ministry of stomach infrastructure and need to go store every morning to decide what everyone eat.'

 I had junior students who fought over who would fetch water for senior ojo (my name then). It was a rich man life as I settled everyone with massacre (extra portion) or money (when necessary). Sincerely, not every senior liked it then yet nwa buru ebu ebugokwanu. (A child that has grown, has grown indeed.) No two words about that!

"Senior Ojo, meet me in the cubicle after night prep," he said and left with his long restless cane. 

"I will want to respect you by calling you senior, but you must make sure you drop your big boy attitude..."

"Ah, senior, I no dey do big boy oh. I be gentle man by nature"

"That's Oliver," he said and revealed the news that broke the camel's back. A news that took me by surprise and shattered my privileges. You could imagine how a Governor may feel when asked to join the cleaners. My colleague and I would start doing morning chores even when the school management absorbed us from such duty as they would affect our working time in the refectory. I wanted to debate, but my colleague asked me to oblige. I did and started morning chores. As usual, I hardly fetch water and often, my boys were always ready to watch my school uniform. To cut my caps, he warned me to stop using junior Students, that I was using power when I wasn't a prefect. I obliged, yet they won't stop coming. Like I pointed out earlier, no free food in Freetown; you follow Who has the substance. Who would listen to a hungry house Captain over a minister of State in the most recognized and prestigious Federal Ministry of Stomach Infrastructure? To add more insults, he started kneeling me down in front of junior ones I controlled in the refectory. Often he flogged me unjustly. It was a night mare 😂

A night came when I threw myself into the theory of balance of power. Actually it wasn't balance of power for mine was tramped on already. I wasn't a school prefect, yet I go to store every morning and decided what everyone would eat with a House mistress that liked me much. Even as a junior refectorian, I was entrusted often with a huge sum to go and buy some Kitchen items. I had worked with successive Hostel mistresses in charge of store, and they raised hands and vouched of my sincerity, capacity and meticulousness. 

What then is prefect! One mind told me I was even a prefect before him. He was appointed a house Captain in his SS 2 while I was appointed a junior refectorian in Jss2 and rose through the ranks up to senior class. Some persons were dropped by same refectorian that appointed them, yet I rose to a rank that only the school management can disengage. I have been suspended and reinstated in the past like about three times. Seniors sack, mistresses will reinstat. I realized I had more power. He helped me realize how powerful I was; how we stopped the senior prefect from taking a double portion even when we in the dining took same. (although it was rescinded, and my colleague would later stop it entirely when he became Chief refectorian)

 If such could happen to all mighty senior prefect, this one would be a small fight. I knew was a time to play draft with someone's stomach and it was funny.

I laughed and became happy for two powers were about to engage in a 'Game'.

A new week came with a new policy, in the ministry. Our superiors didn't come to the refectory, and I used the opportunity to bring into live an--about--to--die existing policy.

"Henceforth, everyone should start coming to Refectory by themselves no matter high placed they are. This includes me. The principal had warned about this severally and we in the refectory won't have to put ourselves in risk of going against the rule. If any senior gives you his flask to bring his share, reject it please. If you have strong heart to bring it to this refectory, I have no option but to punish you, and give his food out to those in redectory". In the course of enforcing the policy, I stepped on more toes, yet I wasn't deterred. In the course of doing so, I realized how good I would be in following the rule, how uncompromising I could be even. From using it as a tool of war, I learnt to maintain it as the proper thing that would help. Food should be taken in the refectory, not Hostel, and it's binding on all. My house Captain's attempt to get us rescind such rule failed as our superiors liked it even. It gave us good light with the school authorities as that was what a boarding school should be. In other to make sure the rule didn't die when the pressure became much, I went to the chief Hostel mistress and discussed how important it is to maintain the rule. She and a house master started coming to the refectory to make sure it was enforced.  Many senior students came to the Refectory then oh. My ability to be happy and appear humble with everyone made it look as the house Captain was maltreating me. Where he revealed what I did, I denied it and maintain it was order from above. It gave me joy each time my house Captain passed his flask on 'my' desk and waited obediently for me to dish out food for him. If I refused, he could have ulcer and nothing much would happen. See how sweet and interesting Federal Ministry of Stomach Infrastructure was.

"Ojo put food for me let me go. I have something to attend to..."

"We follow rules here. First come, first serve," I would say loudly and junior ones would laugh. 

All of a sudden, he stopped questioning why I was ironing clothes when it's light out already or order me to go and pour away the hot coal and wear rumpled clothes (As he knew it was a hard one for me. I loved my school uniforms, and day wears neatly and well ironed.) Even punishing me in front of the crowd stopped, and I wondered how gracious heaven was. 

I didn't stop pulling my trigger. He made a mistake by sending his school son to refectory with his flask. The food was rejected appropriately, and the Innocent boy ordered to wash several coolers alone. How sweet power game was to me, chai. 

"What was that Ojo," he questioned angrily when the news got to him. As usual, I defended my actions in a way that everyone would agree with me that it was the right thing to do.

"It was order from the principal and Chief Hostel Mistress. Everyone should be coming to Refectory. Even Deputy Senior prefect came today," I said calmly, and he didn't speak but left. I laughed so hard within me because I was winning even when I haven't used several options my ministry could afford me.

A night came when he invited me again to the cubicle. We talked at length on other issues but didn't talk about our power game. Out of compassion, he said, he would allow me to stop morning chores since it caused me some challenges especially on the rate it affected my Refectory duty. And truly it did yet we were not the most affected. If we shared food on time, it would help the students more as everyone would finish in time and join the morning assembly. I thanked him for his understanding and magnanimity. Same day, My colleague and I convinced our superiors on the need to stop double portion for insignificant post. I fought so hard to include his office and it was a success. He and other house Captains would be taking same size as every other student. Only Senior prefect, Social prefect and refectorians (from Jss1 to ss3) was spared and it truly helped. I did it for my purpose, yet it worked for all as we had more to give our lovely students who often didn't meet food in the Refectory as a result of insufficiency. Size of their food increased too since cost of governance had been cut, albeit someone harmed.

The following weeks, I entered his book of most respected people. He found new love in me and even became a great friend. We entered into a new friendship, and I became above every policy made by him. But the fact about our ministry is that rules when made remains unchanged, and if it must be changed, it must come from the superiors. He would have graduated before the set that can sack the policy take the mantle of leadership.

I remember Our Federal Ministry of Stomach Infrastructure with laughter and nostalgia. We (House and I) still talk about this memory, yet he never admitted he lost. Be the judge, then.

God of Federal Ministry Of Infrastructure will fight your battles.

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